Your Online Presence Is Your Living Resume. What Does Yours Say?
As a business professional operating in a digitally-driven world, you need to actively manage your image and privacy when posting and engaging online. Having an online presence is like hosting an ongoing, open-invitation dinner party—you don’t know who’s going to show up and when; but when they do, will your house be clean with dinner on the table, or will you be hanging around in your underwear?
Unless you’re nearing retirement, there’s a good chance you’ll be looking for employment at least once more throughout your career. When you do, according to a 2017 CareerBuilder study, there’s a 70% chance (likely higher in 2021 based on past trends) your potential employer is going to Google your name and look through your social media accounts before even letting you know they’re interested in speaking with you. Outside of employment, trainers and coaches operating independently are now vetted by potential clients via their online presence.
Your online presence has become your living resume. It’s a visual timeline of your character and personality; it’s a written testament of your values and opinions; and a historical record of your personal and professional endeavors.
Here are three things to consider when it comes to managing your online presence:
1/ Do you keep your personal and business-related content separate?
If not, it’s something you should consider. Depending on your career goals, the type of people you work with, and the clients you attract, you may want to consider having two identities online—one that’s personal and private, and another that’s public for business-related content.
This makes it easy to keep your professional image separate from your personal life. Your future colleagues should learn about who you are and the experiences you’ve had over time, directly from you. Not from pictures they see and comments they read online without any context or understanding of who you are.
2/ How do you engage in conversations, especially disagreements, online?
The beauty of the communities you belong to online lies in your ability to interact with whoever, wherever, and whenever. But there are two sides to every coin. That convenience and simplicity are also what makes it all too easy to share hasty viewpoints, hurtful opinions, and emotionally-charged reactions. Things you’d never consider saying to someone’s face.
A general rule when interacting online is to praise publicly and criticize privately. The exception to this rule is when you believe others in your field can benefit from witnessing the disagreement. If this is the case, always be respectful of the person, use kind language, and know when your comments are contributing value versus adding to the noise.
3/ Is the content you’re posting and thoughts you’re sharing showcasing your intellect and contributing to your professional field?
The advantage of having an online presence is exposure to potential clients, collaborators, and employers. It’s the easiest way for you to showcase your knowledge, highlight your career accomplishments, and share your ideas about the forward progress of your professional field.
With great power comes great responsibility. If you want to make a positive and lasting impression, have standards to dictate what type of content you post and how you comment and interact with others. If it’s not helping, it’s hurting. Each time you’re going to post, ask yourself: “How can I use this to show what I know or what I’m working on?” Each time you’re about to comment, ask yourself: “How can I demonstrate my professionalism?”
In closing
If you’re using your online presence to do business, you need to be monitoring your content, commentary, and who you associate with, with the same rigor you do in your physical life. Your online presence is your living resume. What does yours say?
Do These 3 Things To Get More Engagement On Your Social Media Posts
Simply put, engagement is attention. It happens when your content sparks someone’s interest enough that they like it, comment on it, message you about it, share it, or unbeknownst to you, talk about it offline. Each of these interactions is valuable, but only when they align with the context of your content and your original reason for posting.
What does that mean?
When you post on social media, you do so for one or more of these reasons:
To impart knowledge, educate, or update.
To persuade change or recommend action.
To inspire or motivate.
To entertain.
To get attention and praise.
The value of the engagement you get on a post is determined by how well it aligns with your original reason for posting. If you make a post trying to persuade people to register for an upcoming event and get 250 ‘likes’ but no registrations, that engagement is not valuable. It did not help you meet your objective. Whereas if you post a picture of yourself in a swimsuit on the beach and get 18 comments about how great you look, mission accomplished.
Here are three things you can do to create more valuable engagement when posting on social media:
Create with one person in mind.
Put your main point or ask upfront.
Use persuasive evidence.
Let’s look at each in more detail.
Create with one person in mind.
When you decide you’re going to post, the first step is to define who you’re posting for – your target audience. It reminds me of a quote from Ken Haemer who was a Presentation Manager at AT&T, “designing a presentation without an audience in mind is like writing a love letter and addressing it To Whom it May Concern.” We’re talking about social media posts, not presentations, but it still applies. Without having a target audience, your content is going to be generic and weak. It’s impossible to capture the attention and please an entire group of people, and if you try, you’ll water down your message.
Once you determine who you’re posting for, I’d encourage you to take it one step further and think of a single person in that target audience. If you know someone personally in that target audience, pretend they’ll be the only person who sees your post. Doing this will take the pressure off. You can now create for a person you know will already love it, which in turn will invite your personality and unique style to be front and center. As you’ll soon find out, your personality and unique style are what creates meaningful engagement.
Put your main ask or point upfront.
This principle applies to all communication. Make your point or say what you’re hoping your readers/listeners do with your message upfront. In writing, do it in the first 1-2 short paragraphs – the sooner the better. In video, say it in the first 20 seconds.
Don’t bury the lede. When you tell people exactly what you’re going to tell them or what you want them to do, you’re giving them the information they need in order to determine if it will be a valuable use of their time. Whether or not they stay, you’ll develop the reputation of being clear and straightforward in your communication style. Two things you want to be known for.
Use persuasive evidence.
As important as your opinion is to you, it doesn’t matter all that much to other people. You’re an N of 1. If you’re trying to impart new knowledge, persuade change, or encourage action, you need to use persuasive evidence to support your message. Persuasive evidence can include: data, facts, statistics, a story of a personal experience, an example, an analogy, a quote from a source known to your target audience, or a demonstration (like an exercise demonstration).
Supporting your message with persuasive evidence builds your credibility and makes your message more compelling. You can tell your client that walking is good for their health until you’re blue in the face, and they’ll do nothing. But show them a study from Harvard that concluded people who walk lose up to 50% more weight than those who don’t, and they start walking 2 miles per day.
In closing
Social media doesn’t require a unique set of communication skills; it demands mastering the basics. Those who get valuable engagement on social media are those who know who they’re creating for, they communicate their purpose early on, and they back up their information and opinions with evidence.
A Winning Introduction
When you first introduce yourself to new or potential clients, you’re doing more than sharing your name. You’re trying to convey your uniqueness – your intellect, experience, and reputation. What you have to offer, both in who you are and how you serve, is special.
Aside from the pressure of conveying that uniqueness in a simple introduction, is the additional pressure of doing so in a way others understand and feel compelled to learn more. Because if you can’t convince them during your introduction, they’ll just walk across the street to the next person doing the same thing as you.
If you want to thrive in the competitive marketplace, your introduction must get people interested in learning more about how you can help them.
How? By focusing on impact.
Introductions typically come in response to the question “What do you do?” And most people respond by reciting their business card:
“I’m a physical therapist, mostly working with youth athletes.”
“I’m a personal trainer at a gym in Brentwood.”
“I’m a group fitness instructor at XYZ.”
‘Title introductions’ are dead ends.
Ask yourself: “How are the people I serve better because of what I do for a living?
“I help high school athletes get back to playing the sport they love after an injury.”
“I help women feel better about themselves by teaching them how to properly lift weights.”
“I help people get in shape while listening to great music and hanging out with their friends.”
In closing
When people ask you what you do, what they’re really asking is how you can help them. For a winning introduction, focus on impact.
How to Answer Difficult Questions
Your ability to answer questions is just as important as your ability to share what you know. Skillfully answering questions can build your credibility, in turn making it easier to inform, persuade, and inspire others.
Questions come in one of two flavors:
A request for more information
A challenge/attack – personal or content-based
Within those two categories, there will be questions you know the answer to and others you don’t know the answer to, aren’t prepared to answer, or simply don’t want to answer.
When you know the answer to a question, you should state the direct answer first, followed by a brief explanation of your answer (if it needs it). Direct questions demand direct answers. But you’re not here to learn how to answer questions you know the answer to, so let’s look at 3 strategies for answering difficult questions.
1/ When you don’t know, say so
Your professional reputation takes years to build, but it can crumble in an instant. One way to risk your reputation is to willingly answer questions you don’t know the answer to, under the guise of certainty. Trust is built on being truthful. If you don’t know the answer to a question, your answer is “I don’t know.” Here are some examples on how to do that.
“I don’t know. I’ll need some time to think about it. Can I get back to you by the end of the day?”
“This is something I haven’t given much thought to. It might be a good idea to reach out to ____ for an answer.”
“My instincts tell me the answer is _____, but I can’t be sure.”
“While I’m not totally sure, my initial thought is ____.”
2/ Identify and rephrase on the issue
Sometimes we’re asked what I like to call ‘cornering questions.’ These questions are asked in a way that makes you feel cornered – usually in that the questioner gives you options to pick from, none of which fit the answer you’d like to give. Here’s an example…
“Did you make that comment because you’re angry or are you just that oblivious?”
Aside from the fact that this person should seriously reconsider their communication approach, they’ve cornered you with two bad options. Assuming you’re going to answer the question, how do you do so without choosing from the options provided? The first step is to identify the underlying issue in the question. In this example, if we remove the words ‘angry’ and ‘oblivious’, the underlying issue is that you made a comment. Once you identify the issue, you can put that issue back into a rhetorical question in order to set yourself up for an answer you’re prepared to give. Your response would be: “Why did I make that comment? Well, the way I see it, …..” This strategy works because you’re still answering on the issue, and you’re cooling down the temperature of the interaction in a professional manner.
3/ Communicate your boundaries
Although it happens less often, there are times you’ll be asked a question you simply don’t want to answer. Maybe it’s too personal, it’s an attack on your character, or you’re not permitted to provide the information they’re asking for. Here’s how to handle each:
Too personal
“That’s not a question I feel comfortable answering.”
“That’s a personal matter that I’ll be keeping private.”
“That’s not a topic I’ll be answering questions on.”
Character attack
On social media: The most effective approach is to ignore the comment and not validate it with a response. If you must respond, you can make a request for a question: “Do you have a question you’d like to ask in regards to the content/situation?”
In-person: “I don’t respond to attacks on my character” or “Is there a question you’d like to ask about the content/situation?”
In writing: Don’t respond until the emotion of the attack wears down. If you then choose to respond in writing, keep it short, professional, and invite further conversation in person or on the phone.
Not permitted to share information
“Legally, I’m not allowed to disclose that information.”
“That’s not something I have the authority to discuss right now.”
In closing
When you receive a difficult question, remember these three things:
Keep your cool if you want to keep your credibility.
Identify the issue within the question and address that.
The fuel for character attacks is attention. If you want them to stop, stop paying them attention.
The Best Coaches Do These Three Things When Coaching Virtually
If you’re reading this article, it’s safe to assume you’re coaching virtually. If you’ve made it that far, congratulations. Maybe you’ve been doing it for 5+ years or maybe you just started this week. Either way, how you manage your communication matters; because when you’re coaching virtually, your client doesn’t get the added benefit of feeling your physical presence and reading your body language like they do with in-person training.
What I’d like to share with you are 3 communication routines the best coaches do when coaching virtually. You should consider adopting these routines if you want to improve your virtual coaching skills and create an environment that gets your clients excited about seeing you on camera instead of the gym floor.
1/ They coach their client’s camera
If you were coaching your client in-person, would you move around to get a better view of them while they’re doing certain exercises? Yes, of course you would. Virtual coaching is no different. But since you can’t physically move the camera, you need to (1) ask your client to move their camera to a different spot or (2) ask your client to position themselves differently in relation to the camera. Your client has no idea what angle you need to see in order to coach them and it’s your job to tell them.
“Colleen, can you do your plank horizontal to the camera so I can see your positioning?”
“John, can you take your laptop with you when you go over to the bench so I can give you some cues?”
“Nadia, I need you to scoot back away from the camera because I can’t see your feet.”
2/ They program time for relationship building
Unless your client is strapped for time, don’t ‘get right to business.’ Unlike in-person, virtual doesn’t lend itself to those unplanned moments of interaction so you need to build them into the program. Trust and relationships aren’t built when you’re teaching your client how to do a TRX row. They’re built when you ask how their kids are doing in virtual school, what they plan to do for the holidays, or when you ask to hear more about the big project they’re working on at work.
These ‘moments’ can happen:
In the first 5 minutes of a session
While they’re warming up (if they can perform the warm-up on their own with little instruction)
In between sets / circuits
In between training sessions via text or email
3/ They focus on what they CAN do
The toughest part about virtual training is that your client doesn’t always have access to the equipment you’d like them to. It might make your job tougher and may be less exciting to program, but your client shouldn’t know the difference.
Avoid saying things like:
“If you had a heavier kettlebell we could do kettlebell deadlifts…”
“Since you don’t have TRX straps we’ll have to stick with bent over rows.”
“This is the best we can do with what you’ve got.”
“I’m sorry, there’s not much more we can do with the equipment you have.”
These may be true, but it doesn’t change the fact that your client doesn’t have what you’d like them to have. Focusing on what’s not there doesn’t make the situation better and surely makes them feel inadequate.
Stick to positive, affirming language:
“I’m pumped you have a set of dumbbells. We’re going to make good use of those!”
“That yoga block is going to come in handy. We can use it with your planks for an added core challenge.”
“One of my favorite things about training at home is that we can program in more isometrics.”
“Let’s have you hold your big bottle of laundry detergent with the squats – after all, weight is weight!”
In closing
If you’re going to remember one thing from this article, let it be this: In virtual coaching, your communication routines are ultimately what determine your client’s experience. You want them to think of virtual training as different, not less than. What are you doing to make that a reality?
12 Things Coach John Wooden Can Teach You About Being a Better Presenter
Coach John Wooden is known for his success with UCLA Men’s Basketball, winning 10 NCAA National Championships in a 12-year span (between 1963 and 1975). Even more impressive was his resolve in becoming the best person, coach and leader he could be. His focus was never on winning. He believed that winning was just a by-product of complete focus and dedicated effort to becoming the best version of yourself. He brought this philosophy to life through his “Pyramid of Success”. Coach Wooden defined success as, “peace of mind that is the direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.”
The Pyramid of Success stands on 15 building blocks which he believed necessary to attain his definition of success, with industriousness and enthusiasm at each corner. In his book, Wooden on Leadership, he defines each of these building blocks and details how he put them into practice and how they might be used in an organizational setting. If you haven’t read it, it’s a must-read.
Outside of the Pyramid, Coach Wooden also wrote a list of 12 ‘Secondary Traits’ he saw as vital for any leader to have. Although he defined these 12 traits in terms of leadership, I see an undeniable connection to ‘presenting’. These traits, once developed and used sincerely, can directly impact how effective you are in educating, persuading, or inspiring any audience — which are the three main reasons we message.
Below are the 12 Secondary Traits defined by Coach Wooden. Under each is how they play a role in presenting.
1. Affability: Friendly, likable, cordial.
To be an effective communicator, it’s important for our audience to perceive us as friendly, or at the very least, cordial. If we are unlikable or perceived as ‘cold’, we face an uphill battle. Simply put, people have a difficult time listening to people they don’t like. Your audience may not like what you have to say, but if they like you, they’ll at least give you the respect of listening and consideration.
2. Appearance: Clean, neat.
What we choose to wear and how we groom ourselves says a lot about the respect we have for both our audience and the message we have to share. Don’t let your appearance distract your audience from your words. Know what’s appropriate dress for your audience and the occasion. When you’re clean and neat, you’re easy to look at — in turn making you easy to listen to.
3. Voice: Proper use of tone and pitch.
Words are important, but how we say those words is equally as important. Your volume, inflection and pace help to convey the exact meaning of your words. Practice your presentation out loud and record yourself. Do you sound convincing or do you sound flat?
4. Adaptability: Adjust to the environment.
It’s rare to walk into a presentation environment and everything be just as you planned. Even if you get all of the technology to work, there’s usually too many or too few seats, the screen is too small, the room is too hot — you get my point. Great presenters are prepared for the unknown. Their presentation principles stand, but their execution is flexible. They understand that each environment requires a unique approach; there’s no one ‘right’ way to do it.
5. Cooperativeness: Harmonious co-worker with faculty, team, and community.
Presentations are rarely a one-way communication. At some point we open up the floor to questions and interactions with our audience. When we do this, we must cooperate with them, creating an environment and candor that’s productive for all involved. We must submit the attention while our audience asks questions or discuss a point, giving them the respect of a listening ear followed by a thoughtful, honest response.
6. Forcefulness: Back up your ideas with firmness, not ‘bull-headedness.”
In regards to communication, firmness shows confidence and resolve while ‘bull-headedness’ shows cockiness and fear.
7. Accuracy: In choice of men, in judgement, in technique, and reacting quickly to emergencies.
Our reputation is built on our words and our actions. As T. Harv Eker said, “how you do anything is how you do everything.” Treat each decision, in what to say or how to act, as if it’s the most important decision of your life. And if you don’t know what to do or say, admit you don’t know.
8. Alertness: Be alert to observe weak spots in the opposition, in your own team, note fatigue, etc., and be quick to make the necessary corrections.
Similar to adaptability, we need to remain present (the period of time now occurring) as we present to an audience. We must tune into their body language, their receptiveness, and what is or is not ‘clicking’. If our audience looks disengaged, uninterested or confused, we cannot continue on in the same fashion. We must make an immediate correction to either our delivery or the content we’re sharing.
9. Reliability: The boys must know that they can depend on you.
How can you be reliable to an audience? Start on time and finish early (or on time). Talk about what you said you were going to talk about. Make your message easy to follow, understand, and act on.
10. Cheerful, optimistic disposition: Think positively rather than negatively. Sincere optimism builds confidence and courage.
We can’t only share ‘good’ news. There will be times we will have to be the bearer of ‘bad’, ‘shocking’, or ‘scary’ news. I’m not saying to share bad news with a big smile on your face, but you can share bad news with an optimistic disposition. Our audience almost always takes on the same disposition to a problem we have. If we share bad news with a bad attitude, we’ve created another problem outside of the original problem. Bad attitudes usually breed bad action.
11. Resourcefulness: Each individual and each team is a separate problem. Use the right appeal for each.
Each audience we present to deserves a unique version of our presentation — tailored to their specific environment, attitudes and culture. To deliver an effective presentation, we must first know everything there is to know about who we’re presenting to. An audience knows a canned presentation when they see and hear it. Canned presentations don’t win; customized presentations do.
12. Vision: Provide the incentive, a picture of the possible.
As the old adage goes, “tell them what you’re going to tell them, tell them, then tell them what you told them.” Give your audience a road map so they can follow along. At no point should your audience be surprised by the content you’re covering or what you’re asking them to pay attention to or act on. If you want retention and action, share your vision and repeat it often.
The Right Way to Ask For What You Want
We are notoriously ineffective when it comes to asking for what we want. Instead we tell stories and hope the other person will pick up on our subtle cues, we reach out just to say “hello” and hope the other person will offer us something, we babble endlessly hoping the conversation will suddenly force us to share, or we talk ourselves out of asking at all.
If you are not moving closer to what you want in sales (or in life), you probably aren’t doing enough asking. – Jack Canfield
Why is being able to ask for what you want an important skill?
Because people are not sitting around thinking about how they can help you. They are focused on helping themselves. Being in the right place (and being visible) at the right time is one strategy for getting what you want, but that’s just luck. And there’s no guarantee of it happening. Instead, you have to find ways to interrupt the people who have something you want and make them think, “I can help Jenny, and I really want to!”
When it comes to getting what you want, these are the five barriers you must overcome:
Being someone people want to help.
Being clear on what you want and why.
Knowing who to ask.
Asking.
Making it easy for them to help.
Barrier #1: Being someone people want to help.
If you’re not a likable person it won’t matter how clear your ask is or how well-suited a person is to deliver on your ask – they will not want to help you. This comes down to givers versus takers. If you make requests out of desperation, insecurity, ego, or even ‘forced’ responsibility, you are taking. When you ask from those places, you are looking for praise, approval, and recognition. People avoid takers at all costs. They avoid making eye contact with them, they avoid their phone calls, and will always have an excuse for not being able to speak or meet with them.
To avoid being a taker, constantly look for opportunities to volunteer, mentor, share knowledge, or make introductions with no strings attached. When the time comes for you to ask for something, you want people to feel compelled to do so because they can see how much value you’ve already added to your peers, your organization, or the industry.
If you are not someone people want to help, overcoming the following four barriers will be fruitless. Start here.
Barrier #2: Being clear on what you want and why.
As obvious as this may be it’s often overlooked. To get what you want, you must first have a clear understanding of what it is you want and why you want it. It is your responsibility to figure this out on your own before you move forward. If you have 30 minutes with someone of importance, do not ask them to spend that time trying to help you figure out what you want unless that’s the role they’ve signed up to play. There is zero value to them in helping you weigh your options, and asking them to do so makes you come off as indecisive and lacking in purpose and direction.
You should be able to communicate what you want in a clear statement:
I want to do an internship with you for the month of July.
I want to speak about ____ at your conference in September.
I want a 10% raise by the end of the month.
I want to change my working hours to ______.
I want to speak with you on the phone for 1 hour about _____ from your book.
Once you can articulate what you want in a clear statement, you’ll want to understand why you want it and what your level of commitment is to getting it.
Answer these questions:
Does asking for this align with my values?
Does asking for this move me closer to my personal/professional goals?
Will asking for this have any potential negative consequences?
What benefits will come from receiving this (for myself and others)?
What am I willing to commit (time, money, resources, etc.) to get this?
Having the answers to these questions will allow you to craft a message that’s both genuine and gives evidence as to why you’re worthy of receiving.
Barrier #3: Knowing who to ask.
Be judicious with who you decide to ask. Start by making a list of people who could possibly help you get what you want – first, second, and maybe even third-degree contacts. Once you have a list, answer these questions:
Does this person have what I am asking for? Yes or no.
Do I have an existing relationship with this person? If not, there will be some additional upfront work to establish a genuine connection with them.
Do I have this person’s contact information? If not, identify someone that can make a personal introduction on your behalf. I would discourage you from messaging them through a social media platform as it can be perceived as immature and unimportant.
How likely is this person to respond to my request? If this person has responded with radio silence in the past, you either need to try an alternative method of contact or prioritize others on your list.
Above all else, do not ask everyone. Be picky.
Barrier #4: Asking.
Now that you know exactly what you want, why you want it, and who you’re going to ask, it’s time to ask.
Follow these steps when asking for what you want:
1. Determine the most effective means of communication based on (1) what you know about the person (2) the type of response you need.
Options include: Face-to-face conversation, phone call, video call, email, text message, or a hand-written note.
Ask yourself the following two questions:
How do I think this person likes to communicate?
What means of communication will make it easiest for this person to respond to me?
2. Craft your communication. Use the template below to craft your message to each person you plan on asking. It is a good idea to prepare this in advance, no matter what means of communication you intend to use. The more comfortable and familiar you are with your message the smoother it will come across. Although the template below may vary based on the communication channel you choose to use, you’ll want to touch on each of these at some point:
State your problem or situation (high level).
Ask directly for what you want.
Outline why this is important to you and why you chose to ask them specifically.
Set expectations for the amount of time/resources you expect them to need to dedicate in order to respond to your request.
Optional: give them alternative ways of responding (requiring less time or fewer resources).
Summarize and restate your ask.
Keep your message clear and concise. The more succinct you can be the easier it will be for the person to respond.
3. Do it, ask!
4. Give them a reasonable amount of time to respond. If that time comes and goes without a response, do not hesitate to ask again. If someone doesn’t respond to your request it’s not always because it’s a “no”. It could have been that they received your message at an inconvenient time and simply forgot to reply. When you do follow-up, first use the original means of communication, and if still no response, try another.
Also…
Pay attention to social cues. If you are at a networking event and see that the person is engaged in a lively conversation, do not interrupt them. Not only is it rude, it puts you at an immediate disadvantage. Wait until they’ve finished their conversation or you see a momentary break in the flow to jump in.
Exude confidence. If in person, make eye contact, speak slowly and clearly, stand balanced, and keep your arms open so you can gesture warmly with them. If asking in writing, say only what needs to be said and triple-check for grammar and spelling errors.
Do not ever let the words “I’d love to pick your brain…” come out of your mouth. This is an unstructured, non-specific ask. It will be perceived as lazy and is disrespectful of their time and expertise.
Barrier #5: Making it easy for them to help.
After you’ve asked, it now becomes your job to make it as easy as possible for that person to give you want you want. This is almost always accomplished by simply being prepared. Ask yourself “what will they need in order to give me what I want?” If you can give it to them before they have to ask for it, you’re golden in their eyes.
Here are a few examples:
If you’ve asked them to write you a letter of recommendation, tell them who it’s for, what they’re looking for in a candidate, what experiences or qualities you’d like them to focus on, give them a templated layout to drop their letter into, and provide the contact information or a pre-stamped and addressed envelope.
If you’re asking for an internship, include a tailored cover letter and resume, a list of prepared references, and a video of you coaching.
If you’re asking for a raise, be ready to talk about how you’ve delivered on your professional goals and the goals of the organization, what new responsibilities you’re prepared to take on, and the impact it will have on the continued success of the organization.
Example #1
The scenario: Sarah is a 30-year old personal trainer who has found a successful career working for a reputable health club chain. She has a long list of repeat clients and continually receives feedback that she is exceptional and “the best trainer” at the club. This has been the case for some time and Sarah is now itching to see if she can take it even further on her own. However, Sarah has little experience to pull from and knows she needs guidance from someone who has started their own gym and made it into a success.
What does Sarah want? Sarah wants a mentor who can help her outline and define the steps she needs to take to (1) get out of her current job (2) set up her legal business (3) secure a commercial lease.
Why does Sarah want this? Sarah wants this because she knows she has the intelligence and work ethic to be successful on her own. But in order for that to happen, she needs the strongest start possible. She doesn’t want to burn a bridge with the health club, she wants to have a better understanding of business structures before deciding which to assign, and needs to negotiate the best possible lease scenario so the money she is investing can last as long as possible. She is unfamiliar with these things and knows she needs guidance.
Who will Sarah ask? Sarah has decided to ask Phil to be her mentor. Sarah met Phil last year at an industry event. When they spoke, Sarah learned about Phil’s success as a small gym owner and that he too had started at a health club as a personal trainer. Sarah has not formally spoken to Phil since the event, but they follow each other on social media and have kept in touch that way.
How Sarah asks Phil to be her mentor: Since Sarah’s request isn’t urgent and the only contact info she has for Phil is his email address, she’s decided to use that as her initial means of communication. Her goal is to have Phil agree to a phone call to discuss further.
Hi Phil,
I’m excited to be emailing you. It’s been some time since we’ve talked, but I’ve continued to enjoy watching the progress you’ve made at your gym and with your clients over the last year – congratulations!
I’m emailing because I’ve reached the peak of my career at the health club and have decided to move forward with opening my own gym. My plan is to be up and running within 6 months. I’ve come to realize that I know little about the process and will be more successful with the guidance of a mentor. [high level situation]
I would like that mentor to be you. [the ‘ask’]
When I met you last year, I was struck by your story. The way you handled parting ways with the health club you worked for, how you created your business model, and your knowledge of business operations. I respect the way you’ve done business and would be honored to learn from you. [why she chose to ask Phil]
I understand this is a decision that should not be made over email. Would you be open to a 30-minute phone call this Thursday to talk further? [setting expectations and restating the ‘ask’]
Thank You, Sarah
Example #2
The scenario: John recently graduated from school and has since passed his CSCS exam. He is strength training a handful of high school athletes over the Summer months. Although he understands a great deal about various training philosophies and the body he has very little experience programming for real-life athletes. John knows he needs someone to review his programs and give him feedback or challenge him on his approach.
What does John want? John wants a seasoned and reputable strength and conditioning coach to review and give feedback on his programs for this single Summer (3 months).
Why does John want this? John wants this because he wants to avoid making some of the mistakes that others have already made and learned from. He is extremely passionate about his career and will do anything in his power to ensure these athletes have a productive, safe, and fun training experience. He is willing to dedicate both time and money to learning from the best.
Who will John ask? John has decided to ask Rick for help. Rick is a highly-respected strength and conditioning coach for a Division 1 university. John has read all of Rick’s books and has seen Rick speak on multiple occasions, although they have never had the opportunity to meet. Rick does not know who John is.
How John asks Rick for help: John suspects that Rick does not spend a great deal of time on his email, so he has decided to call Rick and ask for help. John was able to find Rick’s phone number on the university’s website. Here is what he intends to say when Rick picks up the phone:
“Hi Rick, my name is John. I’m a young strength and conditioning coach down in Dallas, Texas. I follow your work and found your phone number on the University’s website.
Do you have 5 minutes available now for a question? [giving an option]
I’ve recently passed my CSCS and am going to be training a couple of high school athletes this Summer. Although I’m confident in my knowledge, I have almost no experience with building out programs for real-life athletes. It’s important to me that they have a productive and safe experience, so I’m looking for someone to provide me guidance and feedback on the programs I build out for them. And I’m willing to pay for that guidance and feedback. [high level situation]
Would you be willing to do a weekly 1-hour call with me this Summer to review my programs and provide feedback? [the ‘ask’]
I’ve read all of your books and have seen you speak at quite a few events. To say you’ve influenced my goals would be an understatement. I want to learn from the best, and in my eyes, you are that person.” [why he chose to ask Rick]
So you can coach, but can you present?
It is now a widely accepted practice to incorporate breath training into exercise. This hasn’t always been the case. For a long time, we assumed that our ability to breathe without conscious awareness meant we were doing it effectively. But as this Movement As Medicine article states:
Unfortunately, lack of consciousness for our breathing patterns can also lead us into trouble. Somewhere along the way in the everyday shuffle, many people will develop postural faults that will lead to inefficient breathing.”
The same is true for communication.
On average, you spend 70-80% of your waking hours in some form of communication. As with breathing, it’s something you often do without conscious awareness. But as has been shown about breathing, just because you have the ability to communicate doesn’t mean you’re doing it effectively. And more likely than not, the habits you’ve picked up along the way are directly impacting the effectiveness of your communication and ability to grow in your career.
Of all the money that is spent on formal education and continuing education, not enough is spent on learning how to have ‘presence’, formulate and structure ideas, and then effectively share those ideas with others – or more simply stated, how to present.
All fitness professionals are in the customer service business. Your success and reputation are highly dependent on what other people think about you. But how do people formulate those opinions? It’s what they initially see and hear (their first impression), the quality of your ongoing interactions, and finally the credibility and organization of the information you share with them.
Of all of these, the most important is the first impression. In his book Blink, Malcolm Gladwell explains how we use the adaptive unconscious part of our brain. He says, “We thin-slice whenever we meet a new person or have to make sense of something quickly or encounter a novel situation. We thin-slice because we have to, and we come to rely on that ability because there are lots of situations where careful attention to the details of a very thin slice, even for no more than a second or two, can tell us an awful lot.” This is why your initial physical and vocal presence when meeting someone new is so important. If people are making judgments about you in the first one to two minutes, you need to come across as professional, confident, and knowledgeable.
Ask any fitness professional how often they ‘present’ to an audience and most will respond by saying not very often or rarely. This is not true. In fact, you’re presenting to an audience every single day. You’re presenting to an audience when you pick up the phone, when you meet with a new client, when you interact with an existing client, when you informally share your ideas at a staff meeting when you interact with your co-workers and superiors, and so on. These seemingly unimportant (but frequent) interactions are the building blocks that make up your reputation and can lead to professional success.
“SUCCESS IS DOING ORDINARY THINGS EXTRAORDINARILY WELL.” – JIM ROHN
Take a moment to reflect on just one interaction you’ve had in your professional career that didn’t go well. Maybe you weren’t giving a conversation with a new client your full attention, maybe you didn’t prepare in advance for an important meeting and couldn’t clearly convey your ideas, or maybe you posted something online without adequate review or objective feedback first. Now imagine if that interaction had gone well. It was a missed opportunity. One that could have led you down an entirely different path. Now multiply that across the length of your career. It’s important to recognize that opportunity surrounds you every day, and it’s your responsibility to recognize and take full advantage by knowing how to present yourself and show up when it matters most.
If I’ve convinced you of the importance of presentation skills as a fitness professional, check out what I call The Big 3 below. They’re three easy-to-implement tips that will have a dramatic impact on your presence and the quality of your interactions.
1) MAKE PURPOSEFUL EYE CONTACT
When it comes to presenting, sustained and intentional eye contact with one person at a time is the easiest way to engage your audience. Purposeful eye contact also helps manage several other areas…
Your ability to concentrate on what you want to say. Why? Because you’re not taking in additional stimuli by ‘scanning’ the room which can break your focus while speaking.
Your impression on the audience. When you don’t make eye contact, you come across as lacking both confidence and authority.
Your Pace. When you speak one thought to one person, then pause in silence while you find a new set of eyes to engage with, you’re building in natural pauses to your speech. It’s not that we speak too quickly, it’s that there are no pauses in that rate of speech.
One caveat is don’t stare. Keep eye contact with someone for one thought or one brief sentence, then move on to a new person. Pay attention to social cues. The person you’re looking at will make it obvious when you’ve made it creepy.
2) HAVE EVIDENCE; NOT JUST OPINIONS
If you’re proposing a new idea or recommending that someone or a group of people change something, your opinions hold little to no value. To be credible and convincing you must have supporting evidence. Evidence gives an objective foundation to your arguments. This evidence can come in the form of research studies, statistics and facts, video examples, demonstrations, personal experiences (such as with athletes or clients you work with regularly), other’s experiences, analogies, quotes, and so on. It’s evidence that makes your presentation persuasive and memorable, not your personal opinions.
“WHAT CAN BE ASSERTED WITHOUT EVIDENCE CAN BE DISMISSED WITHOUT EVIDENCE.” – CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS
But be sure to give credit where credit is due. When using information outside of your personal opinions and experiences, be sure you reference where the information came from and don’t claim it as your own. Give others the credit they deserve for doing the work you’re now benefiting from.
3) KNOW WHO YOU ARE TALKING TO
It’s your responsibility as a presenter to be sure the information you’re sharing can be understood by the specific audience you’re speaking to. If you’re presenting to a group of high school athletes, you don’t want to talk about heart rate variability training or the intricacies of anatomy. This seems obvious but think about how many presentations you’ve sat through where the presenter used terms or shared information that was above your base of knowledge. Not only is it frustrating to the audience, but it also gives them a reason to tune out.
Why is this so hard for some of us to simplify our ideas and information? Because we’ve been cursed with knowledge! As this Harvard Business Review article states, “The problem is that once we know something—say, the melody of a song—we find it hard to imagine not knowing it. Our knowledge has “cursed” us. We have difficulty sharing it with others because we can’t readily re-create their state of mind.”
Whether you’re presenting one-on-one or to a group, ask these questions before you decide what you’ll say:
Who is my audience – group of clients, other trainers, industry experts, prospective clients?
Why are they listening to me – because of my topic, because they’re attending an industry event, because their boss told them they should because they’re a paying client?
How much do they know about my information – have they had any exposure to my topic? If so, how much and from what sources?
Do they already have viewpoints or opinions about my topic – what are they? Are they supportive or skeptical?
How do they learn – are they used to learning visually, aurally, or physically? What’s their attention span?
The Big 3 are a great starting point if you’re new to presenting. At the very least, they’ll bring awareness to some of your existing strengths and shortcomings. However, if you’re someone who presents on a regular basis and has never had formal presentation skills training, hire a coach. As with any new skillset we want to learn, we need to expose ourselves to objective review, coaching, and active practice.
If you take just one thing from this article, let it be this:
YOU are your product. Your knowledge and experience are just ‘features’ of that product. You can have big ideas, but if you cannot communicate those to your clients, peers, and others in your network with poise, clarity, and in a simple-to-follow manner, your ideas will take you nowhere. Go the extra mile. Invest in your presentation skills. Learn a skillset that could forever change the course of your career.
“THERE ARE NO TRAFFIC JAMS ALONG THE EXTRA MILE.” – ROGER STAUBACH (NFL HALL OF FAMER)
What Trainers Are Getting Wrong About Virtual Training
They don’t have a plan.
Trainers who have a business and communications plan in place before offering virtual training to their existing and potential clients will get more clients, have productive relationships with those clients, and offer a higher quality product than those who do not.
Here’s what the current process looks like:
Decide to offer virtual training because:
Success with in-person clients
A large and seemingly engaged social media following
“People say” it’s a great way to make a passive income
Fear of missing out on a new market
Create a social media post to launch their new offering(s)
Wait for the clients and passive income to roll in
Reality, yes. A poor bet, also yes.
If you develop a business and communications plan prior to launching your virtual training offerings, you will benefit in the following three ways:
You will receive more qualified and serious virtual client leads, ultimately increasing your conversion rate and saving yourself a lot of time.
Your virtual training clients will have the expectations you set for them, and you will have a plan and the bandwidth to deliver on them – consistently.
You will be challenged to accept the fact that your virtual training clients will not receive the quality of service and coaching you are accustomed to providing your in-person clients (because it’s impossible). You will then need to seriously consider if your time is better served with in-person clients/groups.
Here are 6 questions you need to ask and answer before launching your virtual training offerings:
1. Do you have another steady and reliable source of income?
Unless you have a long-standing and well-known reputation, a productive presence online, stellar communication skills, and an eagerness to be on your phone or computer more than you already are, keep your in-person training job – and don’t let your responsibilities there slip through the cracks. Do not quit your job and try to make a living through virtual training. There are exceptions to every rule, but you’re likely not one of them.
2. How will offering this service impact your existing clients?
Have you considered what impact virtual training will have on your existing in-person clients? Virtual training may sound like a ‘set it and forget it’ endeavor – it is not.
If you are serious about pursuing virtual training in a meaningful way (and at a quality you can proudly stand behind), you will likely need to evaluate the value of your in-person clients. You may need to refer a couple of them to your peers to allow enough time in your schedule to both set up and then diligently manage the needs of your virtual clients. Just because your new clients are online does not mean they’ll be easier to train; quite the opposite. Don’t be surprised if you’re spending close to double the amount of time working with your virtual clients vs. in-person (ongoing communication, setting up and managing their programming on the platform, making last-minute adjustments to their schedule changes, etc.).
Your in-person clients should be your priority. They’ve come to expect a certain level of care and involvement. If that begins to wane because you’re spending more and more time on your virtual pursuits, you might find yourself without any clients. [Refer back to question number 1 😊]
3. Who do and don’t you work with?
Just as you do when you decide if you will move forward with a client or athlete in a live setting, you need to have standards or criteria for who you choose to work with in a virtual setting. As an example, if you refer out for individuals who are postpartum in a live setting, that standard should remain true online.
But it’s not happening.
Virtual training is like the wild west – anyone and everyone is offering training that “works for everyone.” Generic programs are being developed and prescribed based on generic labels, followed by little personalization and oversight.
If virtual training finds its footing in the fitness industry, it will be the trainers who zeroed in on a niche market of individuals who thrive. That’s not to say you will only work with the specific population you cater to, but it does mean you recognize that quality and results decrease with each exception you make.
“If you serve too many masters, you’ll soon suffer.” - Homer
4. What exactly are you offering and what can people expect of you?
Most people won’t even inquire about your virtual training offerings if you don’t clearly state exactly what you’re offering up front. And when I say clear, I mean crystal clear. You need to spell out in simple language, and in as few words as possible, exactly what people will receive, at what level of personalization, at what intervals, with what level of interaction, and for how long.
If you make it past that initial awareness and consideration stage the potential client goes through, you then have to communicate what your clients can expect of you once they sign up. If you do not communicate expectations both verbally and in writing, you’re leaving room in the future for disappointment – and usually on the client’s end.
5. What’s the ‘right’ platform for both you and your clients?
Now that you know who you’re offering training to and exactly what you’ll be delivering to them, you need to decide on a platform to deliver it.
Why is this an important step? Because the platform you choose to use will be how your clients experience YOU. In a virtual relationship, all people have to judge you on is your verbal & written communication and how they experience your programming, which in essence, will determine if you succeed or fail.
A simple step-by-step approach to making this decision:
Profile your target clients – Download our ‘Virtual Training Guided Worksheet’ to get started.
Based on your target clients, make a list of “must-have” and “nice-to-have” features.
Research available platforms and select your top 3-5.
Schedule a demo with each.
Select your favorite or, if deciding between two, consider doing a trial with each or A/B testing.
Make a decision and stay in-the-know about the evolving market.
6. What type of commitment do you need to deliver results?
You want to make money through virtual training, and unless you’re a complete a**hole, you also want to help your virtual clients get the results they hoped for when they chose you. To get results, you and your client need to agree to a specific level of commitment – same as you would for in-person training.
Once a client agrees to talk further about your virtual training options or decides to work with you, outline and ask for the necessary commitment. Do they have a near-term goal they’re working toward? If so, how many days a week and for what amount of time will you ask of them so you can deliver on your promise?
It’s important that you do everything in your power to help your virtual client get the results they sought you out for. If you do not, it’s a quick swipe to the next trainer promising the same thing.
Don’t make promises, just set yourself up to deliver.
“Formula for success: under promise and over deliver.” – Tom Peters
In closing…
If you are early in your training career, virtual training will be inferior to working with clients in a live setting. You should be doing as much in-person training as possible (for you). Nothing will ever replace the experience of engaging in face-to-face conversation, physically seeing your clients get results over time, interacting and confronting challenging situations with your peers and your boss, learning and perfecting your coaching presence and demos, and being surrounded by others who are as interested and as motivating in the industry as you are.
Virtual training isn’t going anywhere, and there’s no harm in waiting until you’re ready – with the knowledge, skills and experience – to offer your very best to those you will work with.
What It Feels Like To Be New
12 weeks ago, I walked into a Jiu-Jitsu academy for a trial class. It was the first time in more than 10 years I was pursuing something completely new. Since then, I’ve come to realize how out of touch I really was with what it’s like for our clients to be new.
So much of our success rides on what our clients experience in the first few weeks of working with us and being a part of our community.
Here are 5 things we need to remember, but often forget, when training new clients:
1. They don’t know how things work before and after the session.
When I joined this Jiu-Jitsu academy, I was handed a small handbook to read prior to my first official day — and boy am I glad I did.
I learned that I had to bow when I came onto and walked off of the mat, I needed to face away from the mat when adjusting my gi, and I needed to greet others on the mat in rank order.
If I hadn’t read this book, I would have felt more out of place and uncomfortable than I already was feeling.
Here are some of the questions we need to answer for our new clients, preferably face-to-face, before they train with us (and don’t wait for them to be asked):
What time should they arrive for their session?
What should they do with the time before their session starts?
Do they know what clothes and shoes to wear?
Should they bring their own water and a towel?
Do they know where the locker rooms are and how to work the lockers?
Do they know what to do if they’re late for their session — reschedule, jump in when they arrive, warm up on their own then join in?
What’s the best way for them to ask for clarification, help, or coaching during the session?
What are they supposed to do if they’re not feeling well or they get injured during the session?
What is expected of them before and immediately after the session ends?
New clients want to know how to behave as if they are a seasoned member. It is our job to help them do that.
2. They’re nervous about introducing themselves to others and become extremely anxious when we ask them to partner up with someone.
I was surprised by how nervous I felt when introducing myself to other members for the first time. It was so unexpected that I laughed at myself. I’m a grown woman and I meet and train new people on a regular basis — why was I so nervous?!
Our clients feel the same way. They are the ‘new person’. Not only are they new, they are also likely less skilled than our existing members. We need to help them bridge that gap and take the initiative to introduce them to our most welcoming members (if we don’t see them doing it for themselves).
We also forget how scary it can be to work with a partner for the first time. As the new person, we assume no one wants to work with us because we will slow them down. Our approach? Stand to the side until everyone has paired off and see who’s left. This usually works out fine, but it’s probably not the most welcoming approach for new clients.
If you know you’re going to have a new client in class, plan for it.
Is there an existing member you can count on to welcome and pair up with the new member for their first session? If so, it’s worth talking to them. Let them know you’re going to have someone new joining and you’d like their help in creating a welcoming environment for this person. Give them the chance to say no, but don’t be surprised if they jump on the opportunity to help out.
3. They see our demo and hear our coaching, but forget everything the moment they try it for themselves.
Before starting Jiu-Jitsu, I had never practiced a martial art. I had no idea how much mind/body coordination needed to take place to perform a skill or drill correctly. After our class warm up, the teacher walks us through the skill or drill we will be practicing. For several minutes, he explains the moving parts, demonstrates what it looks like in slow motion, then puts it all together to show us what we’re working toward at full speed.
Seeing as I’ve been an athlete my entire life and am a coach myself, I felt confident in my ability to learn and execute what was being taught quickly.
I was wrong.
The moment my partner and I found a spot on the mat to practice the skill or drill, my mind went blank. It’s as if I had never seen or heard the demonstration at all. This was beyond frustrating. I just watched the teacher perform and explain the drill for 5 minutes, why couldn’t I remember?
It was only after several classes I realized my mistake. I was focusing on too many things at once. Instead, I decided to focus on one small piece of the skill or drill, master it, then add on the next piece.
We need to instruct our new clients to do the same.
We still need to explain and demo the skill or drill in full, but as soon as we’re done, we need to speak directly to our new clients and be clear on the ONE thing they need to focus on mastering. Once they master it, help them to identify the next piece.
4. They get frustrated when they finally begin to understand and do something correctly, only to find out it’s on to the next skill or drill.
When you learn something new and are finally able to execute it perfectly, you want to keep doing it. You get a rush of endorphins from the accomplishment and feel compelled to keep practicing so you don’t forget it. This is called engraving, and that natural instinct is there for a reason.
Our brains know that in order to become unconsciously competent at a skill, we need to do it over and over until it’s a habit.
If you are working with a client one-on-one this isn’t usually a problem. The client can spend more time on a specific skill or drill because there is no one else to accommodate. But groups are another story. We cannot spend more time on specific skills or drills simply to meet the needs of one individual in the group.
Even though that’s the case and our group clients would likely agree, they still might feel frustrated by that fact.
If you have a client who has recently mastered a skill or a drill, celebrate it. Make sure they feel supported and encourage them to continue to practice on their own time (before their sessions, after their sessions, at home).
Also, let them know the next time they can expect to see that skill or drill in their session. If they know they’ll see that skill or drill in a session next week, they can stop worrying about it and give their full attention to the next skill or drill.
5. Above all else, they want to be accepted by the group.
I started Jiu-Jitsu to put my athletic ability and strength to the test. But more than that, I started so I could meet new people and make new friends. Brendon and I recently moved to a new town, we know no one, and I work exclusively from home — this is a recipe for being a hermit.
Yes, our clients want to get in shape and achieve their health and fitness goals, but more than anything, they want to be part of a community.
It is our responsibility as coaches to create that culture.
The energy we bring to the group is contagious and what we choose to focus on is what the group ultimately focuses on.
Lead by example and celebrate the unique contributions of each individual in the group.
Likability: An Invaluable Skill for Trainers
In Cal Newport’s book, So Good They Can’t Ignore You, he writes at length about “career capital.” What’s career capital? It’s the “rare and valuable skills” you must work to develop and offer in return for a great job, which is also rare and valuable.
“[…] the traits that make a great job great are rare and valuable, and therefore, if you want a great job, you need to build up rare and valuable skills – which I call career capital – to offer in return.” – Cal Newport
What are those rare and valuable skills for trainers? Generally speaking, there are two:
Likability (non-technical)
Ability to get results (technical)
This article is going to focus on number one, likability. Trainers notoriously, and justifiably, spend the majority of their time and sometimes their money working on developing number two. But little time and money is spent on what is sometimes referred to as ‘soft skills’, such as likability.
Why? Because likability is an intangible word. Unlike the technical skills of number two, there is no clear path to developing it – it’s subjective. If I told you to be more likable, you’d say “sure Jenny, but I don’t know how.”
So instead, I am going to breakdown likability into the characteristics and behaviors that are found in and used by people who are likable. If you can develop these characteristics and use these behaviors, you too will be more likable.
Why do you want to be more likable? Aside from the obvious reasons, it’s a skill you can develop that is currently off of the radar. It’s a skill that can distinguish you in a huge field of people who are also technically proficient. And it’s a skill that is absolutely necessary if you want to get results for the people you work with. Results take time and it’s rare that people will stick around to train with you if they don’t like you. Also check out Michael Boyle’s article: Becoming a CNP.
What are the characteristics and behaviors of likable people?
People who are likable are comfortable with eye contact.
It’s challenging to both make and maintain eye contact if you aren’t confident in yourself, your ideas, or both; and people like confident people. But there are other reasons to make eye contact as well: it’s a non-verbal cue that you are interested and listening to the people you’re interacting with, people will perceive you as competent, and it will encourage people to offer eye contact in return, increasing the chance that they’ll remember what you say.
How do you improve your eye contact?
Assuming you’re already aware of your need to improve, start practicing with people you’re most comfortable with. The next time you’re having a one-on-one conversation with them, challenge yourself to make eye contact before you begin to speak, and maintain eye contact as you speak. You don’t want to make it weird, but try to hold that eye contact longer than you’re used to. Social settings are another great opportunity to practice because they’re usually psychologically safe and you’ll get instant feedback from the people you already know and trust.
You will get better with practice, but consistency is king. Luckily, we have hundreds of opportunities to practice this skill each and every day – use them.
People who are likable are generous with genuine smiles and don’t shy away from showing enthusiasm.
Have you ever seen someone get a paper cut and cringed as if it had just happened to you? Me too. We have mirror neurons to thank for that. Originally discovered in a study of monkeys, these neurons allow us to ‘mirror’ the actions of another person in our own mind – which is why they’re sometimes also referred to as “empathy neurons”. What do they have to do with smiling and enthusiasm? Well, when we smile and show enthusiasm, most people are hardwired to intuit and mirror our positive attitude. And people like feeling positive, so they’re naturally drawn to and like positive people. Of course, things aren’t always positive, but we can control our outlook and how we perceive the events of our life.
Some of you might be thinking, “but I’m just not that type of person!”
I’m not saying you have to be a cheerleader. Enthusiasm looks different on everyone. But a couple of small, genuine smiles when you’re with your clients can change their entire perception of you and your time together. And it might be the only smile they see all day.
People who are likable use body language (more than their words) to show confidence.
It’s exhilarating to meet a genuinely confident person. They can be mesmerizing. We feel drawn to them, hoping to pick up on some of that for ourselves.
“If you can see it in any human being, you have it, too, in some stage of development.” – Timothy Gallwey
When we meet these people, their confidence looks so effortless that we assume it comes natural to them and they were born like that. Lucky for us, it’s not true. Confidence is made and it usually starts with the body.
What does confident body language look like?
When standing, both feet are grounded with your weight equally distributed between both feet. For the most part, you want to avoid constant movement or leaning on one hip. Both of these are common in people who are unsure of themselves or are feeling nervous.
If you’re not using your arms to gesture or for some other productive use, leave them down resting by your sides. It’s uncomfortable to stand with your arms down at your sides, but it’s your best option if confident is the look you want. When we have our hands in our pockets, together or crossed in front of us, or behind our back, we don’t look as approachable.
Making and maintaining eye contact with individuals as you speak – for all of the reasons mentioned above.
Using your gestures to paint a picture of what you’re saying and to show your passion. Gestures, when used properly, are key in gaining and holding the attention of those we’re speaking with.
When listening to others speak, make eye contact, lean in, and nod to show attention and understanding. Genuinely confident people usually do far less talking than others in a group setting – more on this in the next paragraph.
People who are likable are interested in people.
I have no doubt that you’re interesting. And there are two ways you can go about getting me interested in you: (1) you can tell me about how interesting you are, or (2) you can get interested in me first, knowing my mirror neurons will want to return the favor.
We all like to talk about ourselves, but a lot of us don’t necessarily feel comfortable doing so outright. We like someone who can bring it out for us. Take a moment to think about the people you’re naturally drawn to and that give you a sense of connection. They’re probably the people that ask you a lot of questions, and then listen intently to your answers. They then follow up with more questions and more attentive listening.
“Everyone has an invisible sign hanging from their neck saying, “Make me feel important”.” – Mary Kay Ash
If you’re not the questioning type, here are a few to get you started:
Where are you from? What’s it like to live there?
What do you do for work? What are some of the skills you have to use for your job?
Where did you learn to do that? What was the learning process like?
What are your goals this year? Why are those important to you?
What motivated you to come in today?
If you got the results you’re looking for or achieved your goal(s), what would that look and feel like for you? How would it be different than what your life is currently like?
People who are likable are predictable.
Predictable sounds boring. If you were to ask someone how they’d like to be described, I’m almost positive they wouldn’t say “predictable.” However, it’s a characteristic in people we like. Why? Because we’re wired to do whatever is in our power to avoid stress and anxiety in our daily lives. And if someone we interact with regularly is unpredictable, it’s stressful. So, we prefer to spend time with people who are predictable. It creates stability in a world with a lot of instability. Being predictable is also a sign of emotional maturity.
What are characteristics and behaviors of predictable people?
They show up on time – or better yet, early.
They don’t have extreme emotional reactions. If they feel one coming, they excuse themselves and do so privately.
They don’t catastrophize. They ask a lot of questions and seek counsel before judging a situation and in turn making a decision on how to handle.
They only make commitments they can keep.
They clearly communicate and uphold their expectations and boundaries.
They take care of themselves mentally and physically so they can continue to be predictable.
People who are liked and who like themselves do well. They are easy to employ, they tend to succeed in whatever they pursue, and they have a strong network of supporters.
The Key to a Long Career in Fitness
Seth Godin recently posted an article on his blog entitled The travel agent’s problem. The premise of the article is that an agent’s job is founded on information scarcity. Agents are necessary when consumers lack access and/or understanding to the information necessary to do or know something. Travel agents are becoming obsolete because consumers now have access to the same information, and that information has been designed in a way that’s both easy to understand and interact with. Consumers no longer need an agent — at least not for their average travel excursions.
Seth’s hypothesis: if your service offering is based on the dissemination of information that is either hard to find or difficult for consumers to understand, you are in danger.
Trainers are agents of sorts. Just over a decade ago, trainers had access to information that the everyday consumer could only find through diligent searching and networking. Even if they could find it, it wasn’t written in a way they could understand without some formal education or experience. Consumers needed to pay trainers in order to both access and understand the information. It’s a different story today. The fitness industry is widespread. Any consumer can access information on anatomy, programming, powerlifting, Olympic weightlifting, mobility, you name it. Not only can they access it, if they spend enough time, they can find someone on YouTube or Instagram who can explain the information in a way that makes it relevant to them.
If you’re a trainer and think you’ll continue to attract clients because you know something they don’t, you’re sorely mistaken. If you want a long-term career in the fitness industry, you need to move away from being an agent and become a mentor. As Seth says at the end of his blog post, “become a network hub who creates value through information abundance.” Health and fitness information is everywhere. The value is no longer in disseminating it, but in crafting a story with it that’s relevant to your individual clients.
The word Mentor (originating from Homer’s Odyssey) is attributed to those who can offer their experience and guidance to others who are less experienced but are seeking development and growth. In this sense, you no longer guard information behind a pay-to-enter door, but rather walk alongside clients, acting as their north star. You understand and accept that clients will come across and be tempted by information that is less than desirable, so you work to arm them with an appreciation for quality and progressive development. You don’t try to overcome outside information and temptation with scare tactics, but instead invest in educating your clients so they can see and distinguish novelty from quality.
You might be thinking, “but once I do that, won’t I become obsolete?” “Won’t my client then know as much as I do and no longer need me?” The simple answer is no. The answer is no for two reasons: (1) you dedicate all of your time to health and fitness and your client doesn’t. Generally speaking, unless they quit their job and become a trainer themselves, they know you’re more of an ‘expert’ than they are and will happily pay you for your knowledge and experience, and (2) when information is abundant, mentors are in high demand. When information is abundant, we no longer look for someone who has information to share; we look for someone who can make sense of the information and decide what’s worth investing in and what’s not. We look for a long-term partnership. When information is abundant, we see great value in building a relationship with a mentor who has our best interest at heart and takes equal pleasure in walking our path with us.
Transitioning from Agent to Mentor
Learn everything there is to know about your client: To be an effective mentor, you need to know who your client is outside of the gym. You need to know what motivates them, what scares them, what they’re good at, what they struggle with, who they have relationships with and the quality of those relationships, their decision-making process, their short and long-term goals. This information is invaluable in guiding a client through their own journey. It will foreshadow their obstacles and triumphs. It will clue you into what information will tempt, and possibly mislead them. When you truly know your client, you can act in their best interest.
Set expectations and ground rules: Mentorship is a two-way relationship. It’s important that your clients understand what you expect from them in order to have a productive relationship — being on time, advanced notice for missing a session, effort, etc. You must also understand and agree to their expectations of you.
Diversify: Educate yourself in all sectors of the industry. Take continuing education courses in a variety of modalities and schools of thought or practice. It’s imperative to have your own training philosophy, but you must also have a general understanding of most (if not all) other philosophies. Only then can you offer your clients true mentorship. Because mentorship is about guidance. You cannot guide if you don’t see all possible paths to success.
Network: Mentors don’t mentor alone. They have a network of others who they trust and who may have more knowledge or experience in certain areas — because sometimes your clients will be interested in taking an approach you either lack knowledge or experience in or simply don’t agree with. An effective mentor doesn’t feel threatened by introducing their clients to other mentors. Your lack of ego will gain you the long-term trust and respect of your client.
Be Flexible: Mentors allow their clients to explore various approaches they may be interested in (usually with some boundaries). If a client feels unmotivated or isn’t seeing the results they were hoping for, be willing to change things up — so long as they fit within your training philosophy and base of knowledge or experience. If your client wants to try a different approach and you don’t agree to it, they’ll likely go behind your back and find someone who is willing to try. So, either be that person or connect them with another mentor who can safely guide them on that path.
Not all clients are looking for mentors. Some clients simply want to show up and be told what to do. They don’t want to build a relationship and they surely don’t want to be educated along the way. That’s OK. But know the difference. Error on the side of mentorship until you’re told or see otherwise.
Being a mentor is far more challenging than being an agent. But if you’re looking at training as a life-long career, the transition is imminent.